December 28th, 2007
No wonder I liked The Notebook!

If you haven't seen Lars and the Real Girl yet, it's imperative that you do. Unless you hate great movies. Why do you hate great movies? I don't care, just see Lars and the Real Girl. Stop being ridiculous.
Comments (2)
Permalink

December 22nd, 2007
As if the dentist wasn't bad enough.

Dear dental hygienist,

I cannot carry on a conversation with you while you are cleaning my teeth. Please do us both a favor and stop trying. You seem to be insulted that I am not more participatory in our conversation. Let me explain. It's because you have pried my mouth wide open, are sticking a sharp object in it, and I'd prefer you not poke me with it. Also, when you do poke me with it, *I* should not be the one apologizing. Okay fine, you're right, that's my issue that I apologized, but YOU should definitely follow up with one of your own.

Also, it's weird that you make your children sit on Santa's lap even if they're going to cry because you want the picture. I don't want to see that picture.

Sincerely,

Your patient

P.S. Would you like to adopt a cat?




Comments (0)
Permalink

December 20th, 2007
I am rusty, but apparently that is not stopping me.

For some reason I have decided to participate in a 24 hour play festival, writing a ten minute play in 12 hours, which is then performed the next evening. It goes up Saturday, the 22nd. The LA Times covered it, and you can read about it here. If you're in LA you should come down and see something that may or may not be entertaining! And if you see me there I may try and get you to adopt a cat! You have very little to lose.
Comments (0)
Permalink

December 19th, 2007
I'm a sap.

I had problems with Dan in the Real Life the whole movie and then the last scene ended and I decided I loved it. Also, the soundtrack is great. Yay for Sondre Lerche and sappy movies. And Steve Carrell. Why not. He made the movie, I'll throw him in there.
Comments (0)
Permalink

December 19th, 2007
I was never a fan before...

but apparently Drew Carey is picking up the tab for striking writers at the Bob's Big Boy in Burbank (say that 15 times fast) so I am now. I was meeting another writer friend for lunch anyway so we will be clogging our arteries with the fine cuisine of BBB, courtesy of Monsieur Carey. I wish I thought he was funnier, I feel like it would make it less douchey of me to take him up on his generosity. Oh well, hello free fries and processed cheese!
Comments (0)
Permalink

December 15th, 2007
Extremely inappropriate.

When we change Harper's diaper she's started pointing down to her private parts and saying, "Hot!"

I hope we haven't unwittingly done something to prompt this.
Comments (0)
Permalink

December 10th, 2007
Harper and I share similar views about Sports Night.

Comments (0)
Permalink

December 7th, 2007
Words cannot express.

If you value your time at all, please stop by kitty wigs. You will not be disappointed. That is, if you enjoy a little something called this:


Comments (0)
Permalink

December 5th, 2007
Current events

I continue to be obsessed with Scrabulous, and the fact that I am terrible at it doesn't slow me down. I've won one and lost 4! Who has time for this? Apparently I do. When something is important you MAKE time. And I make A LOT of it. Harper can live without my undivided attention for once in her Goddamn life. The cats can care for her if she gets desperate.

Other points about Facebook: I don't like how it tells everyone everything I've done as I've done it. What I'm saying is, Facebook as a big mouth to match its face. I'm probably saying something someone might have said ten years ago when it first started, but I think being current is passe.
Comments (2)
Permalink

December 4th, 2007
The Golden Compass

I saw the movie tonight. I won't give any spoilers, I'll just say that if you are a fan of the book I can't imagine not being disappointed and maybe angry? It's one of my favorite books and I was disappointed and maybe angry? Time will tell on the anger thing, but I was definitely disappointed. Boo, makers of the movie! Boo. (I am emotionally articulate.)
Comments (8)
Permalink

December 3rd, 2007
Overheard in LA, a rarity.

I was in line at the post office when this guy walks in, wearing very puffy fleece pajama bottoms, a thermal and lots of earrings. He looked like he wanted to be Tommy Lee. Could there be anything sadder in a person? He answered the phone and it was wonderful.

Guy: Hey dude! How are you? I'm solid. Yeah, so what we do is weddings, barmitzvahs, stuff like that and we are interactive entertainment. So they pay us 10 grand and in return we are totally in control of the party. You don't have to dance, and like we have people who have NO rhythm, but the thing is, their personality is RIDICULOUS. So you don't have to dance, but you just have to have a RIDICULOUS personality. So, you wanna audition?

I really hope the guy he was talking to shows up wearing a top hat and clown feet.
Comments (0)
Permalink

December 3rd, 2007
Scrabulous and meter meanies

As I said to my friend Will earlier, I thought I was unhip because I wanted to play Scrabulous. Now I find out I'm unhip because it's taken me this long to play it. Either way, I couldn't avoid the unhipness.

In other news, I got in a fight with a meter man Friday. Not just any meter man, but the most evil meter man in a city of evil meter people. And it happened on the one day it rained in L.A. in 50 years.

First of all, the meter was broken. I put in any amount of change and it only read 8 minutes. Secondly, I kept an eye out for him and when I saw him, I had my friend Liz watch Harper while I ran out to talk to him. That's when all hell broke loose.

Me: Hi! Are you the meter person?

Him: (glaring) Yes.

Me: It's broken.

Him: (continuing to glare) Do you know how many people tell me that?

Me: It's true! I swear!

Him: (I'll stop saying it, but he was glaring.) Get me a nickel.

I run to get a quarter from Liz, who was still watching Harper.

Me: Here!

Him: You know if this works, you're getting a ticket.

Me: That's fine, it's broken!

He put it in. The meter was suddenly no longer broken. At this point he just walks away from me, (I won't say the look on his face) and three employees from the bookstore came out to tell him that the meter has been broken on and off for months, it does this, blah etc. He did not care! I put in another quarter, it worked again.

Me; Why would I put in change if I thought it was broken??

Him: I don't know why you do what you do.

Holy crap the guy was so mean. He gave me the ticket! 40 bucks! At some point in there Liz came out to argue with him and I realized Harper was alone in the bookstore. I looked at him and for reasons unclear to me said, "We have babies in there!"

This is a much longer entry than I intended it to be. But I mailed in a rebuttal for that ticket and I will have the last laugh!! The only laugh, but a laugh nonetheless!
Comments (0)
Permalink

December 2nd, 2007
Has everyone already seen this?

I just found it. It's really funny. I still think John Mayer is probably a d-bag in real life, but that doesn't make him less talented or funny.


Comments (0)
Permalink