December 29th, 2006

Harper rolled over from front to back for the first time yesterday. I never knew a human rolling could be so exciting but it was! I also didn't know humans weren't born being able to do that. Other things I didn't know humans couldn't do right away:

Sleep without training.
Not think that when the feeling of sleep was coming over them that they should fight it at all costs because it feels like death (i'm guessing).

I think that's it.

Yesterday Harper and I were at the grocery store, and my little aloof lady was not budging on her "no smile" policy to 95% of strangers. The cashier really wanted a smile from her but Harper was just like, "go try some other baby who thinks they need to please everyone. I give smiles when I feel like it." She smiles at us all the time, just not on demand. I told Brett her being aloof makes her mysterious and powerful. He asked that I not teach her our daughter that. Okay. But she's so mysterious and powerful!
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December 28th, 2006

Things I think about when I can’t sleep after I put Harper to bed. Which is almost always:

I should really email ____ and ____. (The ____ is different every day. It could be anyone. The next morning I could care less about emailing ___ and ____.)

Harper has been asleep for 2 hours that means I have about 3-5 more hours where I could be sleeping.

I wonder if Austin likes living in New York now that he’s on As the World Turns after being on Days of Our Lives and living in Los Angeles for so long.

Why do I care about that? I can think about these things later. If I want to think about Austin living in NY I can do it tomorrow!

If Jack Bauer were real I wonder if he would run for President. I wish Jack Bauer were real. I hope Keifer Sutherland deals with his alleged drinking problem. He seems really nice.

Harper has been asleep for 3 hours. That means I have 2-4 more hours where I could be sleeping. Why is she snoring so loud?

I hope the feral cat crisis in our major metropolitan areas would get fixed. Why don’t people spay and neuter their pets? Why are they so stupid about that?

If I want to email ____ I can email them tomorrow. Stop thinking about that.

I wonder if Chris Cornell completely abandoned his child from his first wife after finding out she was stealing money from him. I hope not. He’s a really good singer.

Why can Brett fall asleep so easily? Why can't I? Stop thinking about that. Just go to sleep!

I’d like to help the world more.

I hope Sami gets out of that mess with EJ. She is totally screwed. Stop thinking about that! Go to sleep!"

It’s more of the same from there until Harper wakes up right after I’ve finally fallen asleep.
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December 26th, 2006

Brett and I watched Babel last night. Not exactly a Christmasy movie, but a GREAT movie nonetheless. I have signed on to tell you all to see it immediately!! Increase Babel ticket sales by 5 please! It's that good.
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December 24th, 2006
Kate!

Who should I see yesterday while having lunch with my parents at their hotel??? Carrie Brady! That's right. The woman that plays Carrie Brady on Days of Our Lives. Or should I say played. (Again Kate, this is just for you. I could have emailed you to tell you, but then I would only have three people reading this blog and I'm not comfortable with those kinds of numbers.) Well let me just say that from my very careful judgement of Carrie, my detection of her from about five tables away and no eye contact, I would like to determine, she doesn't seem nice! That's right, I said it. I mean we had a BABY with us. A BABY. And we literally were the only people in the restaurant. But did she look over at all? Even once? NO. We had a BABY. Now I'd like to point out that if she had looked over Harper probably wouldn't have smiled at her because Harper is not that kind of baby. That is, she's not a people pleaser. She's very discriminating about who she doles those suckers out to. But Carrie Brady had NO WAY of knowing that. And yet she still did not give Harper a second glance. Ironically I bet you some pretty high priced things that if I had run into Sami Brady, Carrie's "evil" sister, she would have been sweet as pie and probably would have wanted to eat Harper for breakfast. In a good way.

Other celebrity sightings this week: Brett saw Leslie Nielsen driving, and Greg Behrendt (comedien, the guy who wrote He's Just Not that Into You) at the supermarket. Also I thought I saw Pat Morita, but he's dead. Okay those aren't good, but a week before Thanksgiving Brett saw Morgan Freeman walking a chihuahua and playing a wooden flute. Seriously, that happened.
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December 21st, 2006
If You're Reading This I'm Probably

Brett was talking to me about some band called Dogs Die in Hot Cars. I thought it would be great if every band decided to use their name as a platform for whatever cause they were interested in. Possible name ideas:

Hey Civilians, Watch Out for Landmines!
There's A Genocide Happening in Darfur
There's Too Many Orphans in Africa as a Result of the AIDS Crisis

It would be a nice way of just getting the word out. You wouldn't have to do much, just play a lot. Then I heard a band this morning called If the Ocean Gets Rough. If the ocean gets rough..what?? What should I do then? They really leave you hanging! Here are some band names that could tour with them and really confuse people:

If You Don't Hear From Me in Ten Minutes Then
Look Out Behind You There's A
He's Calling From Inside The

This blog has become very music oriented lately. Next week: more cats & babies.
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December 20th, 2006

Because I know you care:

I have updated the My Music Pick of the Month. I actually did it a couple days ago, but my blog wanted to tell you itself.
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December 18th, 2006

Lyric heard this morning on the MTV:

"Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you!"

Please tell me this isn't a hit song I don't know about.
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December 17th, 2006

Well Harper sure seems to love me! Apparently she became so inconsolable when I went to see The Departed that I had to come home with an hour left to go in the movie. It was actually okay because I loved Leo so much that I didn't want to see anything bad happen to him, and I kinda think it might have! On the way home Laura and I were discussing what Leo is like in real life. We both decided that he was probably an asshole. Laura thought so because she thinks all actors in real life are assholes, and I thought so because he dated a supermodel. When you're that good looking and you date a supermodel it's just gratuitous. It's like the kid who doesn't want to share any of his toys and also wants all the new ones. Laura said that she knew someone that worked for him and said he was a big baby. "Bring me a bigger TV for my friends! I'll pay for it, I just need it now!" he'd whine. "Bring me another gameboy for my friends right now! I need it now!" he'd complain. I said that's exactly why he dated Giselle. "Bring me the perfect ass and boobs! I need it now! Bring me someone who's been on the cover of Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition! I need to date her now!"

I sure hope nothing bad happened to him at the end of that movie.
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December 14th, 2006

Lyrics I have heard while watching videos with Harper for five minutes (really only five minutes, I swear!) in the morning:

"I could replace you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute"

C'mon Beyonce. You're a superstar! You can't think up a rhyme for "minute"? Really? They're paying you a lot of money, you don't have the energy to come up with a rhyme? It can even be a soft rhyme. How about, "Matter fact, it's none of your business?" No? Okay. Um, "matter fact you can goooo stick it". You don't like that either? i guess it's harder than it looks. Still, I just came up with those two like really quick. For a few million dollars, I would have found something! Matter fact it would have really been a good something!

Okay, next lyric:

"When I'm hugging him I wish it was you i was hugging
Then I realized that I'm bugging".

At least they picked a different word to rhyme with. That's something I hope Harper took to heart.
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December 12th, 2006

Harper and I were at the park today and a little girl came running up to us. She plopped down next to me.

Girl: THAT'S a cute baby.

Me: Thank you.

Girl: Is she yours?

Me: Yeah.

Girl: How much does she weigh?

Me: Uh, about 12 pounds.

Girl: That's not very much. Can I pick her up?

Me: I don't think so. I think it's heavier than it sounds.

Girl: Okay. Do you come here often?

Me: Yeah.

Girl: Do you have any other kids? Any kids my age?

Me: No. Sorry. Did you want other kids to play with?

Girl: Yeah. They're all in school now!

Me: Are you home schooled, is that why you're here now?

Girl: Yeah. Well, bye!

Even though I'm a woman, and even though i'm a woman with a baby, I still worried that it would seem creepy that I was talking to this little girl without her parents with us. Especially when she said, "Come here often?"
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December 10th, 2006

Brett invited his friend to be our Netflix friend. A couple days later his friend called and asked with a mix of disgust and horror, “Did you rate Lord of the Rings a ONE???” Brett hadn’t, and asked me if I had. “I don’t remember doing that. But, it’s possible.” What can I say? I really didn’t like that movie! I'm sorry everyone I know! Then Brett decided to go through our recommendations to see if anything else stunk in Denmark. He turned to me, “Did you give 30 Going on 13 a five?” I looked away sheepishly. “I love that movie!”

I bet you all can’t wait for me to tell you my music pick of the month!

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December 9th, 2006

Brett gives me a lot of credit. I’d say about once a week he asks me a question that I have no idea the answer to, yet it doesn’t stop him from asking me. The most recent I can think of is, “What is the etymology of the word fossil?” What I love most is that he doesn’t say “Do you know what the etymology is”, he asks “what is the etymology” as if every time he asks me something I have given him not only an answer at all, but a correct one. The truth is in the last three years or so I’ve never known the answer to one of these questions. The closest shot I have at answering one would be to an etymology question but that’s just a guess, because I’ve never answered one yet. Yet he soldiers on asking away with confidence. It’s very sweet. The other way I’ve noticed he gives me credit lately is to attribute stupid things I do to sleep deprivation. For instance today I was at CVS and there was no line, so I went right to the front and told the guy I wanted to return something. He looked at me crabbily and said, ”You’ll have to wait in line.” I immediately apologized and looked behind me. The people in line were not there before I got there. I started to go back to the line confused and a family in line said, “You were ahead of me.” The guy in front of the line said the same thing. I WAS at the front of the line! I told crabbypants and he said, “Oh. Well you’ll have to wait for me to ring this soda up.” What?? He just wanted me to wait for something! Brett apparently thinks if I wasn’t sleep deprived I never would have retreated in the first place. He’s probably not right about that, but I love getting the credit!
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December 8th, 2006

Today is the day John Lennon died in 1980. The year he died The Beatles were my favorite band (still are) and I went to school in the Village. We used to drive by the Dakota every day to get to school. That day it was blocked off from the crowds that gathered in front of it to pay him tribute. I think it may have been that way for weeks, actually. It was a very sad day ( to state the obvious). After watching the documentary about The Beatles first trip to the US (best bit of Beatle nostalgia ever, in my opinion) I love him more than ever. It’s awful he’s gone but at least when he was alive he was a Beatle. Doesn’t get much more amazing than that.
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December 7th, 2006

Because I don't think there have been enough cat pictures here lately, here is one of Denise Lieberman DDS, doing the bridge pose in Harper's crib:


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December 6th, 2006

All I'm saying is that when you are sick and someone has chicken noodle soup and a turkey on rye delivered to you out of the blue, it's pretty nice.

It feels like I have a summer cold because it was EIGHTY degrees today. It's DECEMBER. I'm sorry, I know all those people freezing out there hate me for saying it, but can't we at least do I don't know, 60? 80? Really? Alright, southern California, if you say so. I just don't think you know what you're doing.

Brett and I have been watching The Thin Man series. If you haven't, you need to stop what you're doing now and rent them immediately. Do whatever you have to! Just do it. I like taking back the "just do it" phrase and using it for something like sitting on your ass and watching a movie.
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December 5th, 2006

George Clooney's pig, Max, died. Max was 19 which is apparently very very old for a pig; they usually don't live much past 12. It's really sad for George! I know so many people who have lost pets in the last couple of months. I don't eat pigs because even though they are DELICIOUS they're really smart and nice and make great pets. Just ask George. Although, you may not be familiar with who I'm talking about. I just read this on Eonline:

"According to Slayton, who runs his pig-related information and gift Website with wife Dottie Eggeman, Clooney was one of the best known potbellied owners in the United States.
"Everybody in the pig world...knows George Clooney," Slayton said."

So if you're not in the "pig world" you may not be familiar with him. But if you're in the "pig world", you knew who I was talking about.

Somebody needs to tell that Slayton guy that his pig friend hit the big time. Clooney's not just for pig lovers anymore!
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December 4th, 2006

I am sick. It's unfun. But I still went to the park with Harper yesterday in an effort to wear her out. And it may have worked because she slept 7.5 hours IN A ROW!! That information is so thrilling to me, it rivals 24 coming back in the excitement category. Turns out I love sleep as much as I love 24. Who knew. Never mind that she went to bed at 6 and I only slept for 3 of those 7. 5 hours, it's progress, people.

So while at the park we saw:

1. A family walking a cat on a leash.

2. Ducky.

To backtrack to point one, the family wasn't walking the cat as much as the cat was walking an 8 year old girl, but it was still pretty cute. I think you should know, I kind of like cats.

Point two, this is the second time I've seen Ducky in the last two months. MAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL.

Sweet dreams.
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December 2nd, 2006

Holy crap. 24 is coming back in less than a month!!! Here is the trailer, IF YOU CAN STAND IT!! Also, when Kiefer is talking in the beginning, he's actually thanking me, but he didn't want to appear rude so he said "fans". I thought my readers would want to know the truth.


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