September 30th, 2004
I have learned something about myself

I have mentioned sleeping and/or napping in every single entry. I think that disturbs me the appropriate amount.
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September 30th, 2004
hmph

this is the "real" Mr. E's reply to post. I am editing this now to say (among other things) SPOILER ALERT. If you haven't seen the movie don't read it. (That's what spoiler alert means. It also means I should take a Learning Annex class like learn japanese in 2 days or how to refinance my home (i don't have one) because I have become a total internet geek.) Maybe if he could have figured out how to post it in the comment section I would have given it some merit! (that's not true, i still give it merit. I just (mostly) don't agree.) I used parantheses within parantheses twice!! I'm going to sleep soon.

Garden State is a pretentious piece of meandering film school drivel.
zach braff should go to movie jail forever for the 'get off the plane,
i changed my mind, i should be with the quirky girl,' ending. Natalie
Portman needs to get her money back from the Sandra Bullock "look at me
be weird and kooky' acting school. And finally, in the two most
important moments of the movie: 1) when he tells the story of the
dishwasher latch that killed his mom and 2) when he reconciles with his
father - he directed HIMSELF wrong. Which is funny, since the best
thing about the movie up until these moments, was Braff's understated
performance. In the first (the dishwasher story), he should have
played it like he was saying it out loud for the first time. It should
have been cathartic. A revelation. Instead, he played the Braff
specialty; GLIB. Wrong! And in the second (the father moment - which
by the way, was a far more important story than the silly love story,
and was cheated for the sake of the latter), he gives his father a
lecture, instead of paying him an ounce of respect. people have a
right to bitch about a movie that could've been great but wasn't for
stupid reasons. signed, the real, mr. e!

here is my response: in points 1. and 2. which, oddly are his third and fourth points, I agree. However it didn't ruin the movie for me. I think those are good points but not deal breakers. The lecture aspect did annoy me, but it was still a truthful moment just not one I agreed with.
As for the first two points (lets call them A and B) firstly, why is everyone hung up on her being a "quirky" girl? He didn't get off the plane to be with the quirky girl, he got off the plane to be with the girl he loved! And quite frankly the part i DIDN'T buy was him not being with her in the first place! It made me not believe anything he had said to her before and made me think he was shallow and annoying for just leaving her after everything he had told her. So when he went back to her it made me feel satisfied that he was the person I thought he was, and happy they were together. As for Natalie Portman, she didn't remind me anything of Sandra Bullock. In the beginning I found her annoying and trying to be quirky, but I eventually grew to like her. I never loved her, I certainly wouldn't have gotten off a plane for her, but I liked her enough.

Incidentally if I had any idea how to use italics I would have a number of times. Maybe I don't have to sign up for that Learning Annex class after all. Thank you and goodnight.
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September 29th, 2004
i have a question

When did Garden State become the movie you aren't supposed to like? It seems that my fellow snobby aristans with whom I usually join hands to laugh at things like Britney Spears, television and the Al Quaeda have come together when I wasn't looking and chosen Garden State as an acceptable target for their high faluten mockery! Nobody got my approval! I liked that movie!! (I'm really tired, and as my friend Mr. E knows, I use exclamation points to wake me up!!!) But seriously folks, (Sue) (who, let's face it, probably doesn't even read this anymore) I have seen a number of people mocking those of us who liked, (dare I say loved? I'm going to if only so I can set a record for the use of parantheses in the shortest number of sentences) this movie. Does that make me an Abercrombie & Fitch wearing, OC watching (I almost wrote Dawson's Creek, I almost dated myself!!)sterotypical cut out of a person and not a real person at all?? That's what I imagine these mockers think of a person who likes Garden State. Sure, I don't like Zach Braff PERSONALLY. Actually I have met him once. He was with a girl who was completely, unironically acting like a Heather. She even had her nose turned up so far (seriously! nose turned up!)in a way that looked not only uncomfortable but probably would give her a stack of medical bills later in life if she kept it up. The neck is not supposed to be in that position. And he was a total arrogant prick. So, trust me Sue, I did not WANT to like this movie. But I DID. Why? Because it was sweet and truthful, and spoke to a confusion that many of us OC lovers can relate to. (I've actually never watched the OC, and have proven that it's female breakout star, Mischa Barton, is not a celebrity, by using her name in the game Celebrity to see if anyone would know who she is, because if less than three people (2) know the celebrity they aren't one, and no one did! She's not one!) In conclusion, I was touched, and if that makes me a MOCKERY, then SO be it! What, is Swingers a better tale of a 20 something going out livin' it up and finding (or maybe not for those of you who haven't seen either movie) love? Give me a break.

Let's face it, I'm exhausted and feeling pressure from my mass audience to write an entry. So that's where this diatribe, if I may be so bold as to call it that, came from. I did it, okay? I'm napping now. I love taking naps. I love sleeping. I've heard very successful people find sleep to be a waste of time. hmm. good night!
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September 25th, 2004
fans, so many of them

Well my friend Mr. E posted a comment about my last entry and didn't even know he was making a pun by saying Mystery! Or at least that's what I've been led to believe. Or what I have chosen to believe with no evidence at all. Either way, the verdict is in, the case is closed, the people have decided, this blog is a hit! I finally have something else to do when I take "breaks" from "writing" other than napping, playing joggle, or write endless emails to Sue about important issues like how it's possible Jill Hennessy is on a hit show, Crossing Jordan, yet almost no one really knows who she is or had any idea the show existed. Sue and I saw her yesterday at a restaurant and have come to the conclusion that her husband is really hot. But, forget that! I'm afraid my biting commentary on celebrites will have to take a backseat so I can post here! Where my people want me.

I really have nothing else to say right now. I woke up too early today, I'm going to go take a nap.
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September 20th, 2004
sunday at the emmys

So I got home from rescuing kittens (sue, since you're the only one i've told about this blog, if you know anyone who needs a kitten let me know) to watch the Emmy's that I Tivoed. As religious followers of my blog (Sue) know, I love gossip about people I don't know, and celebrities contain a large quantity of people I don't know. This is what I learned from watching the Emmy pre show:

A little birdy told Star Jones that everyone in every category was going to win. She shared this information with them with no apparant awareness that this was impossible.

Star Jones is going to get married. I already knew this, but just in case I got hit over the head every .2 seconds and my memory was bludgeoned out of me, she was there to remind me.

She seems to think the size of the rock on her hand means something very important. She never stated the exact importance, but by the way she pointed it out and looked at it I can only guess it discovered the cure for cancer. I almost capitalized cancer. I hope it discovered the cure for people born in late June through mid-July.

Then the Emmys happened and some people lost, some people won and Sarah Jessica Parker was her usual cloying "I'm so down to earth and awkward and I'm so shocked I won even though I have this all perfectly rehearsed and I know how to make everyone eat out of my hand and Star Jones' little birdy told me I would win not 2 hours ago" self. Okay, granted Star Jones' little birdy told everyone that, but I'm sure SJP was told that by more than that needy little winged creature.

In conclusion, all in all, my cat is sleeping on the ottoman and the couch at the same time and he is winning awards for cuteness all over the country.
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September 19th, 2004
First entry!!

This is extremely scary to me to write a journal that people may actually see. So why do it? I'll tell you. Because my friend Sue said that people are getting book deals from these things. Apparently you start writing a blog and then you walk outside and people just hand you contracts. Major publishing houses are sending representatives to park outside your house as soon as you get a blog. These representatives will regale you with tales of your own brilliance and then demand that you parlay it onto the pages of books under their label. Are they called labels? I should find that out before I get a book deal. That should give me about a week.

I'm totally obsessed with other people's blogs, so it's only fair that I get in the game. Of course my favorite form of (guilty) entertainment is gossip about people I don't know, or don't know well, so it makes sense that I would love reading blogs. It's akin to looking into apartments where people have left the curtains open. Oh! That guy's eating chicken!! Who cares? I do apparently! I just realized I have no form of entertainment that doesn't or shouldn't fall under the guilty umbrella. I'm very shallow. But back to the point, I don't intend to reveal anything very personal! yay! This will be exrutiatingly entertaining.

Who am I talking to? I don't even know how anyone will get access to this to see it. Until it's on my website which will be available to the masses and it will be quite obvious how people will have found it.

Okay, so in conclusion, or my favorite 5th grade way to end an "essay", all in all, I think this will just be about very impersonal things that happen to me. And if that is extremely boring I'll just go back to napping for my 15 minute breaks.

Natasha
ps do you need to sign a blog? Probably not.
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