August 31st, 2007
What's more interesting than discussing the weather?!

Yesterday the high here was 104 degrees and for the next four days it will be over 100. I just wanted to alert everyone that this is ridiculous.
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August 30th, 2007
What? How? Where?

We are going to the movies AGAIN this weekend. We are going crazy with going out lately!! It's INSANE!! Who are we, Van Halen?? (I am 50.)

I awoke this morning to find this video in my email sent to me by friend Jason. It is ridiculous and I love it.


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August 29th, 2007
Yay George Micheal!

Perhaps this is proof that I am an emotionally arrested boy, but we saw Superbad last night and I LOVED it. I thought it was a half hour too long, (that they could have edited it throughout, not that they didn't need the last half hour) but I still loved it. It could have been that it was the first movie I've seen in the theater since Thanksgiving but I think I just really liked it! Also it shows how old I am that at some point not too long ago I would have had a crush on Michael Cera and now I think he'd make a great son. So sad. Oh well, at least on the inside we're the same age (and gender)!
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August 28th, 2007
The beauty pageant wave has been replaced.

Harper has taken to being fed while leafing through a magazine. In fact it is the only way she will eat. She props up one of her legs, leans back in the chair with one of her hands in the air while she leafs through it with the other one, all as Brett or I shovel food in her mouth. Occasionally she will smile knowingly at a picture like she's seen an old friend and then move on. The most perplexing picture she enjoys is an ad for Grey's Anatomy. She will stop and stare at that thing with a look on her face like, "You joker! We meet again!"

I will be sad when this phase is over.
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August 26th, 2007
Or maybe stereotypes aren't the truth?? Nah.

Last night Brett and I went out for dinner. In the middle of dinner our waiter came up to our table with another waiter next to him and said to us, "I'm sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to tell you..." and then he looked at the other waiter for a moment and said, "I'm going on a break so he will be taking care of you." We said that was fine and then after they left, Brett & I looked at each other.

Brett: I thought he was going to tell us something terrible had just happened.

Natasha: That's funny, I thought he was going to tell us something great!

Brett: And yet you're the Jew.

I guess when it comes to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory this Jew is very optimistic.
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August 24th, 2007
Kevin, is this you again?

I know some people think it's too easy a way to do a blog entry, but I love the google searches to find my blog. My favorite today is: "how can i stop giggling at the wrong times?". Firstly, I am 100% sure I give no insight into this, because I have no insight into this. Secondly, what are the "wrong" times? Is the person just insecure, and giggling at job interviews or on first dates? Or are they sociopathic and giggling when their friend just told them they have cancer? I'd like to know more about you, giggler!
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August 24th, 2007
Oh Jaime Foxx, I thought I loved you. But I was wrong, so wrong.

Apparently Jamie Foxx thinks Michael Vick just didn't realize it was illegal to um, fight dogs to near death and then electrocute them, so he shouldn't go to jail. He says:

"It's a cultural thing, I think," Jamie said. "Most brothers didn't know that, you know. I used to see dogs fighting in the neighborhood all the time. I didn't know that was Fed time. So, Mike probably just didn't read his handbook on what not to do as a black star. I know that cruelty to animals is bad, but sometimes people shoot people and kill people and don't get time," Jamie continued. "I think in this situation, he really didn't know the extent of it, so I always give him the benefit of the doubt."

Lovely.
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August 23rd, 2007
And for my next act, I will now lose any readers I have!!

Happy Birthday, Rick Springfield!


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August 20th, 2007
I may not be me writing this.

Brett went away for a little less than 48 hours for a whirlwind trip to nyc for a friend's wedding. I told my friend Kevin this and he said, "Just make sure you ask the secret question when he returns. Trips out of state are a good time for body snatcher type aliens to make their move (I would expect)."

I told Brett what Kevin said.

Brett: Well as long as you know the secret password it will be okay.

Me: (beat) I FORGOT IT!!

Brett: Oh no! Both of them?

Me: Yes!!

I remembered later but then Brett wasn't convinced that my clone wasn't listening in. If this blog starts containing less cats and babies, someone better call the clone police.
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August 17th, 2007
Brett is a superstar.

We haven't been to the movies together in over a year so we probably won't get to see this, but if you, dear reader(s) go to the movies, you may see Brett in a trailer for Jerry Seinfeld's new movie: Bee Movie. He filmed it yesterday and Jerry himself directed him and even laughed at him (in a good way)! So, that's exciting. And Harper continues to grow teeth. Everything is going to plan.
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August 16th, 2007
Speaking of...

reality tv shows, there is one that I can love without shame: Flipping Out on Bravo. It is fantASTic. The guy is essentially me, if I was a wealthy, gay, real estate guy who buys houses, renovates and then sells them and has a maid who wears a uniform who gossips with me while we eat McDonald's. Okay, I guess he's nothing like me except that he loves animals and enjoys (some) psychics. Also I love looking at houses and seeing them renovated. The point is, it's very entertaining and it doesn't feature a wig wearing old rock star. That's a plus, I think. I think.
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August 15th, 2007
I am back from hibernation...

to update my music pick! Phew.

What else is happening? Well, much to Brett's chagrin The Hills is back on. Thankfully I think I set the bar so low with Rock of Love nothing could be as bad as that show as far as he is concerned. It makes him viscerally angry. He tried for awhile to get me to explain why I'm okay with watching it but I had nothing. Aside from the fact that it's perfect, of course.

Brett: The fact that you watch that show is proof that I am a bigger feminist than you.

If I am contributing to the destruction of women by watching it, then am I also contributing to the destruction of stupid, deluded rock stars who try to hide the fact that they are bald by wearing an over-sized bandana? It's not all bad, right?
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August 14th, 2007
I love TiVo.

Yesterday TiVo taped The Bob Newhart Show for us because it's a good friend.

Brett: Harper looks like Bob Newhart.

Me: Harper has a lot less hair than Bob Newhart.

Brett: (beat) I was just kidding.
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August 9th, 2007
I am superior, so it's okay for me to judge.

I really only rarely watch horrible shows like Entertainment Tonight or The Insider (it's true!). Partly because I can get my gossip from the internet, but mostly because they cross the line even for me. But today was truly beyond disgusting. I literally gasped when I heard what they were doing. They had a recently released rehab patient that was in rehab with Lindsay Lohan "dishing" about Lindsay Lohan in rehab. Isn't that illegal?? Isn't there some anonymous code? Oh wait, the woman had her face blacked out and voice altered for TV so SHE was anonymous! Thank God she was protected! Holy Christ this show is so gross. I think the interviewer is a robot who rips out a beating human heart from her chest every night and keeps it in a jar overnight (which she has filled with special venom to keep it beating) just in case anyone punches her in the chest she would spill some blood. Blech.
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August 8th, 2007
Why did I stay up watching it? Masochism is the only explanation.

If you want to see the worst movie in the entirety of the world, please see The Last Kiss. If you would prefer to avoid seeing the worst movie ever made, then do yourself a favor and stay away from it. I'd say more, but one of the commenters on imdb said it best: "Ugh. I would rather have seen Paris Hilton in a Holocaust drama." Agreed, my friend. Agreed.
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August 7th, 2007
I have some things to say to reveal the depth of my emotional maturity:

1. I finished the latest Harry Potter book and it is my favorite book of all time. Not just my favorite Harry Potter book, but my favorite book ever. I loved it so much I read it in a week, which is the quickest I've read anything since Harper got here. And that includes captions to pictures.

2. Okay so, I saw Rick Springfield. Again. It occured to me as I was watching (and loving) Rick, that I got to loving him late. I'm not trying to make myself sound younger (because I am old), but I started loving him at least five years after Jessie's Girl was a big hit. This means that I was never not defending him. If it was ever acceptable to love Rick, I never experienced loving him during that time. And boy, did I love him. So, Brett wanted to come with me because he wanted to watch me watch him. That sounds gross. Gross! Look, I told him he didn't have to go, I was happy to go alone. But you know what? He was glad he went, because Rick was AMAZING. FANTASTIC. Okay so that's not why he was glad he went, but the fact remains that Rick was great.

I'm editing this to add this point, which Jen may notice if she was doing a staged reading of my entries again (like you're not, Jen):

So you know when you're in the car and a song comes on that you are embarrassed that you like, but you're alone in the car so you start singing and then you sing louder and it's really fun and it makes you love the song even more? And you're wearing a genie costume? Oh no wait, forget that part. Now imagine that your car has 3,000 other people in it, only those other people don't know that they should be embarrassed to like the song, so you forget that you are embarrassed and it's an hour and a half of singing embarrassing songs that you forget you're embarrassed about. I know. Pre-tty great.

Afterwards Brett & I had this conversation:

Brett: I wish more people would accidentally see a Rick Springfield show so they could see what it was like to really commit to something. He really is a rock star.

Me: Are you mocking me?

Brett: No, I'm serious. He does things that you think are cliches of what a rock star would do, but he backs it up by being completely committed to it.

Me: He really does. He's really a rock star!

Don't worry folks, I'll be updating my music pick of the month soon and I'm sure you trust my opinion now more than ever!
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August 6th, 2007
Happy Birthday (yesterday) Harper!!

Harper had a really great birthday (she told me so). We had a party for her and when everyone sang happy birthday to her she looked at them with a mix of bemusement and pity. She looked at them as if to say, "Really? You're going to put yourself through this? Alright, if you must." And then she broke into a huge smile when she saw a camera. Happy birthday, lady!


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August 2nd, 2007
I can't let this go.

Okay, I understand Paula Abdul is in denial about her drug addiction, but more importantly, she is in denial about what an absolutely horrible person she is. She has no idea what a self-important, arrogant egomaniac she is, or she wouldn't let cameras in to celebrate her. She reminds me of every horrible day job boss I ever had. Granted, I was a terrible employee, but still. Am I defending her now? I got lost. What was I doing? (That was an example of something that might have happened when I was temping. But what you don't see here is that I did it adorably.) The point is, she is terrible to her employees without provocation or reason. At least she's nice to her dogs.
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August 2nd, 2007
Pretty sneaky, spammer!

I've been getting spam from a "greeting card" company where the subject reads: You've received a card from a Family member! Or: You've received a card from a Friend! Bascially they've tried every type of relationship they could think of:co-worker, sibling, spouse, etc. I haven't bitten. But today, I got one that I think is probably real so I'm going to have to click on it. Because today it said: You've received a card from a Worshipper! Well, it's about time one of my worshippers sent me an e-greeting card! I can't wait to see what one of my worshippers had to say! I'm sure it will include cats and babies and maybe a picture of Jack Bauer torturing someone. Because my worshippers know what I like.
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