August 31st, 2005

Rachael got a new camera last night and Nate and I celebrated by making her take many pictures of us and then becoming very confused when she didn't want to take anymore. "They're all exactly the same." was her reasoning. Nate and I then told her we didn't know that she wanted us to different poses, of course we can do that, in fact that's our specialty! Why didn't she just say so? So then we made her take a picture of us posing like we were up to something. After we posed some more she laughed politely instead of taking more pictures. When we asked her, "Aren't you going to take more pictures?" she continued to politely laugh. After she left (read: fled) our table we discussed for 30-40 minutes about how embarrassed she was going to be when people looked at her camera and saw that she only had four pictures of us. "Where are the other 19 pictures of Nate and Natasha?" was something I was pretty sure would be asked of her. Nate thought it was like giving someone a new car, putting the keys in the car and then the person deciding not to drive it.

The sad fact is that I only had half a beer so I can't blame this sudden burst of narcissim on alcohol. I think nate can though.

below is my favorite, which Rachael titled "sassy Nate and Natasha".

alt="Me & Nate">

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August 30th, 2005

This craigslist thing is amazing! You just put your stuff online there and people buy it! That futon you thought you'd have to just throw out? People are giving you money for it! It's fantastic! What did we do before these internets? It must have been a dark, dark time. I wouldn't know. I'm 12ish.
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August 29th, 2005
things I love continued

There is a show on MTV2 called Subterranean that plays videos of bands I only hear on KEXP, and ones I've never heard before. It is really good. Anyway, a band came on called Morningwood. The lead singer is a 23 year old woman and at first she's just lying there singing as if she is just an ordinary 23 year old woman, and then suddenly, without warning, she becomes the BEST FRONTPERSON EVER. I'm serious! She's like a 23 year old girl who's being inhabited by Mick Jagger in his prime. She is AMAZING. The songs are also really good, but her performance is outstanding!

Also, Oakley is super cute. We just had his last visit at an NYC vet and the vet said to him, "You're such a sweet cat. I'll really miss you. I've loved working with you." I think Oakley responded in his head, "I'll be honest, I'd rather we never had to meet, but thanks anyway. Talk to my mom about autographs." But the point is, how sweet is our vet? I would miss Oakley too if I was leaving him! But I'm NOT. He will be shoved under my seat on the plane where I will panic and worry about him until we land. I panicked the whole trip to the vet so I'm sure the flight will be delightful.
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August 27th, 2005
Various things I love

There is the most amazing series on the Ovation network where Sir George Martin discusses and analyzes the roots of rhythm, melody and harmony. It’s called the Rhythm (or Melody or Harmony) of Life. He talks to Paul McCartney, Brian Wilson and Stevie Wonder and basically every music great you can think of that was alive in 1999, just sitting with them in their living rooms, at their pianos or instruments, while they talk about how they write music. I guess it shows what a music geek I am how much I love it, but it is freaking amazing. It’s just fascinating to see these greats talk about their experience of writing music and how they analyze pieces and how they came up with some of the songs they wrote. Sometimes it’s very “simple” (Paul McCartney dreamt the chorus for Yesterday) (simple is in quotes because I have not come close to ever dreaming up the chorus for Yesterday, or even Sometime Last Week) and sometimes it’s “calculated”. (calculated in quotes for sounding nefarious. I don’t think Uptown Girl had nefarious origins.) Anyway, they rerun it all the time. You people should watch it!

Also I have decided that the woman that plays Maggie
on Six Feet Under is my favorite actress. That’s right! Sayonara Meryl Streep! There’s a new girl in town. I’ve never seen her before but I’ve been meaning to report this very important late breaking news and have just gotten around to it.

Speaking of late breaking news, the lovely and talented Jill Soloway, co-exec producer and writer of Six Feet Under has asked Stickerbook to play at a reading for her book Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants. It will be pretty fantastic and some great (maybe even tiny??) ladies will be there reading from the book including Lauren Ambrose (Claire from 6 feet), Amy Poehler and Molly Shannon. The details are in my performance section, so people of NYC, come on out and support what will be a hilarious and fun time. I will promote this more as it gets closer, so don’t worry ye will be reminded!

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August 24th, 2005
Call me Mrs...Hallmark

I know this is probably cliche annoying comedy but I am going to say it anyway. I was having a really hard time finding an appropriate card for brett on our wedding day (there were plenty of anniversary cards) and then I realized there really isn't a variety of card categories in general. There's really just birthday, sympathy, anniversary, or other people's weddings. So I thought of some other ones.

The cover says, "You've kind of been an asshole lately" and then you open it up and it says..."what's up with that?"

or

"I noticed something" and then you open it and it says..."I've been paying for everything. I don't want to do that anymore."

or

"Hey" open it and it says..."Never talk to my cat like that again."

Just some ideas for hallmark. I'm sure carrot top has a few hundred more.


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August 23rd, 2005
inside the nefarious mind of Oakley Jones

So almost all our stuff is gone from our apartment, save the TV and TiVo which i was not letting out of my sight for two weeks, I mean come on. That TiVo is coming on the plane with me. I have two carry ons: Oakley and TiVo. Speaking of Oakley, he has been walking up and down the apartment surveying the remains over and over. I tried to take a nap but I kept hearing his nails on the hardwood floor going click, click, click. I like to think he's thinking, "This is ALL mine. ALL MINE."
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August 22nd, 2005

I know everyone has been really missing my Days of Our Lives updates, and I don't want to let you down, so here goes. Marlena still has amnesia. The guy that played Roman originally back in the 80's is back as someone named Alex. The guy that replaced him as Roman is still there. The guy that replaced the second Roman after he left briefly to be on The Hogans, is also there. Of course he stayed on the show when the second Roman came back after the Hogans was cancelled, because it was discovered that the third Roman is actually billionaire John Black after he had reconstructive face surgery so please, he couldn't really be Roman. So today there are three actors who have all played Roman Brady.

Today billionaire John Black said this:
"I've been doing some research on the internet about amnesia and it seems--" Now the rest of that sentence should have been "it seems...it only happens on soap operas." But instead he said it seems she may never be the same. I don't know! My prediction is that she remembers she is actually the real Roman and the rest of them go away forever. (Except the original. I love him!)

End of update! You are welcome.
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August 18th, 2005

Said by my 82 year old aunt at dinner when the subway rattled underneath us: "It's like a vibrator on my tush!"


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August 16th, 2005

Whenever Brett and I go to LA we listen to Dr. Laura in the car. I don't know why we do this as she fills us both with so much fury that at least once we will each have a turn of screaming at her as if she can hear us. "NO NO NO that woman is NOT an amoral loser because she is going to a bachelorette party! Stop telling her that!" Things like that. But she really topped herself this time when she offhandedly spoke about her one woman theatrical event! Brett assumed she was kidding, I knew she was just full of herself enough that it had to be true. After I found this out I liked to add outloud her plugging her show after she gave advice. For instance, "Sarah, I don't know why you're calling me. You're a hypocrite and a liar. But I DO know you'll have a blast at my one woman show! Call now to win two free tickets, loser!"
If only we hadn't decided to get married that weekend I would be there in an instant! But apparently, "Combining wit and insightful responses, Dr. Laura's ability to "wow" an audience will keep this show running for many years to come." So I'll have my chance!
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August 11th, 2005
Too long an entry about a subject like this, I agree.

I have no idea how this happened but a trip to the Arclight movie theatre to see the Aristocrats turned Brett and I into two visitors from countrybumpkin town USA.

First of all, when we paid for our tickets the guy asked us where we wanted to sit. I looked at him like it was 1977 and he just told me the Betamax was invented and Brett just assumed he had heard him wrong. Brett started to answer the question he thought he heard and I said, "No, he asked us where we want to sit! It's reserved seating!" From our expression you would have thought that the next sentence was, "Can you believe what happened to civiilization while we were kidnapped by the pod people?!" Of course it didn't help that the ticket guy had no sense of humor and just stared at us like we were idiots (what? We're not!). Once we got past that mind blowing experience we got upstairs. This journal has proven nothing to me if not that apparently I am obsessed with...bathrooms.

It was amazing!! You walk in and it's like you're suddenly in a spa. And yes, you don't even have to ask, of COURSE there were toilet seat covers! The doors were made of some kind of wood! There was calming music playing! The soap smelled not of some type of antiseptic scent but of fruit! What? I know. It's crazy. Where the hell am I? I don't know how I got by before.

And that's when you have to make a decision. Embrace it, or assume you are being brainwashed. Brett chose the latter. When we got to our seats there was a tiny metal thing in front of all of them. He thought it might be a camera. I had to admit, this place was just a little TOO looked after and didn't argue when he put his coat over his. I smiled at mine and gave it the thumbs up. But THEN a lady comes in right before the movie starts. She tells us that she and someone else will be in the theatre periodically to make sure there were no problems. Did we accidentally break into Sylvester Stallone's private screening room? (I don't know why I picked him.) Why is she going to do that? I'm fine now, leave me alone! And then she alerted us to the foul language and strong sexual content of the movie. That's when I put my foot over my camera.

I have no other way to end this entry than to say Lukas and Sammy are finally together again. I know, finally, right? It should last until he finds out she was posing as a man to get revenge on his entire family and everyone in his town. It will be a blissful couple of weeks.
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August 10th, 2005

When I was in fifth grade I was going to school in NYC and there was this really annoying kid who moved from LA who would constantly say, "Back in LA they would never..." and then say something about how different LA was from NYC. Actually writing it now I realize it's pretty sad because he was only 10. So I have no excuse, but I have a feeling I'm going to be as annoying as Franky. But when you see a sign on a door across from your friend's apartment that says: "Leave shoes outside the door. No shoes = no bad vibes." it's pretty hard not to think "Back in New York they would never..."

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August 8th, 2005
Greetings from smogland

All I have time to say is that my favorite part of LA (and California really) is that they let you pee anywhere. You go into a 7/11 and they are HAPPY to let you pee there. They practially beam at you as they point you the way. They even provide toilet seat covers! In a 7/11! Also, everyone really is friendly. I used to hate that about it here. I would walk down the street and think, "why do I HAVE to say hello to that person just because we happen to be walking down the street at the same time? Maybe I just want to stare at the ground!" (I was an antisocial asshole, but still.) Now when someone runs by me in the morning and says "Good morning!" I want to hug him and twirl him around.

But still. I'm really going to miss New York. That fact has really hit home. This isn't a personal blog, what am I doing?! California has made me a pansy already and I'm just here on a visit!
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August 5th, 2005
Favorites! Get your favorites right here!

Okay, I have a favorite new show. And yes, all I talk about is television here. First of all Starved is AWFUL. So bad, I’m not even going to dwell on it, because it is followed by the jewel that is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, my new favorite show (on TV now). The writing is so funny and the actors are all natural and hilarious. The promos didn’t even look very good and yet I decided to watch it anyway because that’s how much of an addict I am and my addiction really paid off! Here is sample dialogue. This guy is obsessed with this girl and he keeps asking her out:

Girl: Dude, “N.O.” How many times do I have to tell you that?

Guy: One time is fine.

Girl: No, one time is not fine, apparently.

Guy: Well, one time per time that I ask you is all I meant—

It seems like it might be improvised a little bit which may or may not be true, but also shows how good the acting is. Or it shows how good the writing is if it isn’t improvised. Either way, the point is I love it!

Also, we saw Ben Folds last night. He was amazing and made me wish I really did know how to play piano.

And as if that wasn’t enough of my fandome I found a new band I love: Goldspot.

I haven’t developed my love of dance so I can’t effuse on how great the New York City ballet is, but if you like that kind of thing I bet it’s pretty good.

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August 4th, 2005

Okay I hate to get Oprah on everyone, but I'm actually surprised I haven't done this earlier. It's shocking really. It's time for an Oprah quote! She has this woman on who is married to a guy who doesn't like her because she's fat and believe it or not Oprah didn't go off on the guy at all. I kept waiting for it, but it didn't happen. Anyway this woman was saying how she didn't want to become her mother and Oprah looked at her matter of factly and said, "You don't become what you want. You become what you BELIEVE. And what you believe circles back to you." Oprah said that like it was a fact of life, like everyone knew it. I love her so much I can't stand it. I'm so glad we have the same birthday. To think if I was just born on that day 20 something years earlier as a poor black girl in the south I could be a billionaire with a heart of gold!
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August 2nd, 2005

I feel the need to point out to my five readers that before when I said KROQ sucks, I guess I meant WXRK who for some reason call themselves kroq. I know they're a sister station, but please. I'm not even saying kroq is fantastic, but i'm pretty sure I wouldn't hear "Signs" by Tesla like I just did. It was unsettling to say the least.
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August 2nd, 2005
Check out the flaps on that one!

I guess this is a cliché but I’ve been checking out boxes on the street for my move like a construction worker checks out women. I find myself leering at them looking around seeing if I can get away with grabbing one quickly. I’ll find myself thinking things like, “that’s a nice one.” or “Oh that would be really good, I wish I could take it home” as I pass discarded boxes nowhere near my neighborhood. I saw a few really nice ones in front of the spa near our apartment and I keep going back to see if they leave out anymore. What’s become of me?

Look, I’m busy right now like an insane person. That’s all I got!

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