June 30th, 2006

The Format has a new album. I love it. I have to just embrace the fact that I love pop music. Not Britney Spears pop though, Beatle pop. Not that they are as good as the Beatles. Oh whatever.

Speaking of, I read on Stereogum that Justin Timberlake said he heard that when John Lennon found a hook for a song, he'd make it the verse. I suppose since I just linked to it you can read it there, but I thought that was pretty fascinating and awesome. Also, um, I'm really excited for the next Justin Timberlake album. I can't help it, I loved his first album. You might too, you just may not want to admit it.
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June 29th, 2006

I finally used my sewing machine today without the help of Dorie. It was a success in that the tablecloth I hemmed looks like crap, but I think I may know how to actually use the machine now. Believe it or not you learn more when you actually sew instead of watching someone else make you things and pretend to yourself you are sewing.

Today is officially one month until I am due. I can't believe that they let people go on this pregnant for another day let alone a whole month. Many times I have thought to myself, "It is retarded to be this pregnant. This is truly a ridiculous way to operate in the world." But I guess biology either has a sense of humor or doesn't know what it's like to not be able to put on a pair of pants without looking like an idiot.

This entry has got to be a step down for you Kevin but hey, not all the entries are for the boys.
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June 28th, 2006

They cancelled my third favorite show of the year, Huff. It doesn't sound so sad since it's not my FIRST favorite, but nothing's replacing 24 and Rescue Me is really really great too. I think Showtime is pretty stupid for doing it! The acting was the best on TV if you ask me, and even if you didn't ask this is my blog so I think it's appropriate for me to say here. If you're in NYC you should see Oliver Platt on Broadway. While you're at it go see Hank Azaria too in Spamalot. And then walk through Times Square and remind me why I'm not living there anymore. I have been missing it lately so I'd like to remember that. Make sure you do it around 3:00 so you can walk through the screaming people waiting outside for TRL to maximize the annoyance. But be sure to avoid laser tag because I love that place. Brett said the weather sucks there right now so we should save missing it for October. But I'll probably be preoccupied then, so just go to Times Square for me now. Thanks!

In other news Brett and I were at Whole Foods yesterday and when we walked in a guy said to us, "Do you want to taste the best chocolate chip cookie EVER?" And Brett said, "No thanks" and I said, "Of course." So I did and then he said, "Congratulations." I said "thanks" because I thought he was talking about the fact that he thought I had just eaten the best chocolate chip cookie ever and was congratulating me for making the choice to eat it, but in retrospect I guess he was talking about the impending birth of our baby. Either way, it wasn't the best chocolate chip cookie ever, so he's a liar.
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June 27th, 2006
My favorite band name.

I've never heard them, but if their name is any indication, they're awesome:

I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness.

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June 22nd, 2006
yay!!!!

The kitten was found in the basement and is now safely hiding under a bed probably to emerge sometime in 2007. I am so happy it's ridiculous.

I'm going to go celebrate by getting in bed and finding some awful reality TV marathon, probably to emerge sometime in 2007.
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June 21st, 2006
Status quo

Kitten still lost. I'm beside myself as if it's my own. Remind me never to foster, adopt out and lose any kittens if I ever get pregnant again. It's not a good time to bond with and lose tiny adorable animals. Although we visited my favorite one today and she was wearing a gold link collar. She traded up for sure.

Brett still doesn't understand why Jefferson Starship sucks. Apparently nothing has changed in the last two days on those fronts.

Note to Hammy: Jefferson Airplane is not much better than the Starship in my opinion. I think maybe the Jeffersons should have stuck to that deluxe apartment in the sky.
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June 19th, 2006

I tried to find the words to explain to Brett why Jefferson Starship is the worst band in history but all I could say was, "Oh my God, oh my God, they just ARE." He doesn't like them, but he thinks they're just as bad as any band from that era. All I could come up with was, "We Built This City is the worst song ever written!" He actually responded, "Why?" He didn't understand why that was any worse than any other song from that time period. I think I'm too disgusted by them to be articulate.

What started this discussion is that one of the kittens we adopted out escaped from her new home. As we drove over there to help find her I sang this:

Find your way back...
Find your way back to her heart (except I said HOME! Get it?!)
Find your way back...
Find your way back to Your hommmmmme!

This is a less terrible but still awful Jefferson Starship song, in case anyone was wondering.

Find your way back DC now known as Kramer!!
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June 16th, 2006
Wow!

Senator Obama sent me an email today! This is even better than last week when Robert Redford wrote me about oil. Brett got a little jealous but I was like, look, he's really leathery these days. And at least he cares about the environment, right? C'mon. Just swallow your pride. Well I don't know how I'll explain this one. Barack is totally not leathery. And this was NOT about the environment. (It was about the democratic party.) I guess I'll just have to sit back and let them fight over me.*





*Delusions of an enormous 8 1/2 month pregnant woman.*


*Have I mentioned I'm really pregnant enough lately?*


*I am.*


*See ya!
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June 14th, 2006
Yay!!!!

The last two kittens got adopted!! To a great home!! We are kittenless! Now how will I divert all of my attention away from giving birth in a month onto something I can actually control now?? What on earth will I obsess about?! I don't know, but I welcome it.

I said to Brett yesterday, "Now we only have four cats again." He said, "Please take the word 'only' in that context out of your vocabulary."
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June 12th, 2006
Totally current observation:

Katie Holmes really stunk it up in Batman Begins.
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June 9th, 2006

We got two of the kittens adopted!!!!! And to a really really great home better than I could have ever hoped for!! I am so happy, right?!!

No, I cried. But they took my favorite! Will she ever forgive me? Will I ever forget her? Will time go on? I suspect so. But she's SO DAMN CUTE! And she had her paws wrapped around my head eating my hair not two hours ago! Two hours before the betrayal!

Now we have to unload the other two. Dear God if any of you know anyone in the Los Angeles area, or really anywhere within 5 hours driving distance, who wants two kittens, please let me know. Preferably in the next 4-7 weeks before I give birth to a human baby! Thank you.
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June 5th, 2006
Sleep deprivation is driving me to this.

i am watching Deal or no Deal. Why? What's happened to me? Here's a better question: why is Celine Dion watching on from a big screen giving advice to the contestants? This poor contestant's husband is gay and she does not seem to be aware of it. He just said to her, "Even if we lose we'll still get to see Celine!!" and she didn't ask for a divorce. I thought he was just her gay bff so I thought it was adorable. It wasn't until later when he defined himself as her "best friend and husband" that I realized her life was out of her control. When he told her to take the deal against her better instincts Celine said, "Your rusrand is right, you have to take the deal." (That wasn't a misprint, she said "rusrand".) And as what always happens when you ignore your better judgment for the advice of your gay husband and Celine Dion, you get screwed. She did have all the money in her case and she sold out too early! Celine better write her a check for $500,000 when they see her in Vegas. She also better hide all of her dancers.

Rosie O'Donnell said this show would be better with costumes. She couldn't be more right.
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June 1st, 2006

Last night was the big show for the Young Storytellers Foundation. For the last six weeks 10 kids in the fifth grade write short screenplays and the mentors (of which I was one) write them down for it to be performed. I don't want to brag, but my mentee is a genius. We were supposed to help them by having them start with a "what if" to develop story ideas. He said to me, "What if... Death died?" Me: (mind blown) wwwwhat? Him: What if the spirit of Death died? What if a doctor accidentally killed him and then had to bring him back to life because there were too many people left on the planet? Me: (mind blown) That's so ironic because doctors--- Him: Save lives.

That's what I was dealing with. I found out later that neither of his parents speak English. His vocabulary was, well better than mine since I was just wracking my brain for a word to come up with how good it was and couldn't, and his grammar was perfect. His other story ideas included Abraham Lincoln's body being taken over by a vampire and he knew where Lincoln was from and Ulysses S. Grant's middle name (it's Simpson). I'm telling you, the kid is a genius.

After the show two of the other mentors were raving about him and talking about how they wanted to steal his idea. I got very protective. "If anyone is stealing that idea, it's ME."
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