June 29th, 2005

I was sitting next to the adorable and sweet Oakley Jones last night and I realized that if there was one thing I wished for him it would be that he could have a little chip that would make him find things humorous instead of scary. For instance when people walk by our apartment and he freaks out I wish it would make him think “humans are ridiculous!” Or when Brett comes up quickly instead of fearing that he is going to be assaulted I wish Oakley would think, “That guy is ridiculous!” It sounds pejorative when I put it like this, but I wish I could give Oakley a sense of humor chip. Brett stands by his earlier thought of what he would wish for Oakley: thumbs.

I know I’ve said this before but my reasons for watching Days of Our Lives have severely and gravely diverted from “it’s a great comedy show” to “when the hell is Belle going to tell Philip the truth?!” (sidenote: I hate Philip! He used to be on the Real World: Chicago and he wasn’t whiny then! Annoying, sure, but not whiny. He’s supposed to be a Marine now, why is he whiny mcwhinypants?) Yesterday Sean was explaining to Philip that he left Belle because he, “had amnesia” and believed that he “just didn’t remember that he was in a relationship with Jan!” and yes I took that not only as a valid excuse but something that should be totally obvious to everyone (wake up Philip! If that happened to you, like you would act any differently!). I knew things had gotten bad when it took me a full five minutes to realize that 1. it’s a soap opera cliché and 2. I should have been laughing at that comment. Also, I was so tired of that storyline dragging on I told myself I would stop watching after that episode and within seconds was cursing NBC for postponing it for three days to cover Wimbledon. What’s happened to me? Watching it for comedy is a gateway reason! Don’t let your kids do it!

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June 28th, 2005

I haven't been able to write here because I've been writing like a crazy woman on other things. Real time, folks. For those of you who don't know "real time" is my expression for "For real" or "Totes serious". You know what, when I explain it like that I wonder why I bothered to come up with it in the first place when totes serious was doing real time's job just fine. But I didn't come up with it. It CAME TO ME. Anyway, that's not the point of this story. I wrote 23 pages today and I'm not even done. What? Crazytown! And what's crazier is that still isn't what I came here to talk about. (I just had a bag of sugar free raisenettes. Or as Jen and I call anything sugar free "fart cups". Actually that's what we call sugar free reese's peanut butter cups which actually makes sense. The point of this interlude is that it seems to have given me an ersatz sugar high! I'm high on the placebo!)

So I have to read a romance novel for a potential job (Totes serious! In that case real time wouldn't work) and my friend had to read it first since he might direct it. Anyway he put it behind my gate where my mail usually goes, where my landlord sometimes takes my mail and leaves it at my door. On a scale of 1 to 10 I'm sitting securely at 10 at the level of embarrassment I'm going to feel when I see him next after he dropped off a book called "Notorious" with a half naked man kissing a woman clad in lingerie who is clearly sitting next to some sort of large fan, giving her a very sexy "I have a fan behind me" look. I can't imagine what my landlord is thinking, but if he thinks it's for a job I now feel obligated to write the thing immediately, show him how it's possible to do it and not make it suck and send it to him now. If he thinks I just read these things, well I have no shame.
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June 26th, 2005
Angie, you're beautiful, yeah but ain't it time we said goodbye

Movie Review!

So I went to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith for some reason expecting it not to suck. Why did I think that? I don’t know. As I predicted before seeing the movie, I didn’t believe those two people, if they were ever in love in the first place would ever stop “seeing” each other as we are asked to believe. I may get annoyed with Brad Pitt for getting high all the time (I’m just guessing) but I’m certainly not going to not notice when he walks into the room. And as also predicted Angelina Jolie would not stop looking at everyone like she had a secret. Which leads me to a new feature:

Open letter to Angelina Jolie

Dear Angie,

What is your secret? If you don’t have one please stop looking at me with one eyebrow raised and a grimace/smirk on your face. If you think this makes you sexy I am going to suggest that whichever sex you are trying to attract at this moment is more interested in your perfect body and or face. They really don’t care if you have a secret so just tell me what it is or stop acting like you have one!

Sincerely,

A Confused Audience Member

Finally in my review I would like to ask why no one talked about this moment in the film: Angelina has a tear coming down her face, she scoops it up with her pinky and wipes it “seductively” (read: ew! Why?!) on her lips. Ew! Why?! Nate suggested this might be a fallout from her “I like to make out with my brother” phase. That may well be but Doug Liman really should have told her to please for the love of God stop that. You have enormous lips, I get it! You don’t need to rub things on them to get me to notice that! If you have a runny nose I bet you don’t rub it all over them, so please do the same for your other face secretions. Thank you. Sorry, that should have been part of the open letter.

Anyway, Tom Cruise sure is crazy, huh?

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June 22nd, 2005

How on earth is anyone watching Dancing with the Stars, let alone that making it come in first place?! Who are these people?

So I watched that new celebrity charades show (what?) hoping it would be the one with Hank Azaria. It wasn’t, and I am embarrassed to admit I apparently even like games when I am just watching other people play them. Even if they are “celebrities” (that term is questionable for at least half of the people in this show). I do think the show would be more realistic if it ended in at least one fight and someone screaming “how do you not know who Michael McKean is?!!”, but maybe that’s just how it is at our house. This episode was the one with a humorless Bebe Neuworth who refused to even crack a smile when Jim Gaffigan’s adorable comedian wife told her she was a big fan and wondered outloud if that was an appropriate thing to say. Bebe said nothing and just sat there smugly. You know what Bebe, you should peruse your resume. You’re not that famous. And if you are that famous you should still smile, in fact you should laugh maniacally and then start dating someone 15 years younger than you and start screaming to everyone about your religion and have a nervous breakdown when someone squirts water in your face. But you definitely should NOT sit there smugly. Thank you.
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June 21st, 2005

A couple weeks ago Jen told me I had to see Mad Hot Ballroom . I told her she had to get her cat Professor neutered. Those were two unrelated conversations, but Jen then told me she would get Professor neutered if I saw the movie. Last Friday I went to dinner with Brett before the movie and had one glass of wine, which as most of you know means I got drunk. Way too drunk to see a movie. So I didn’t, and having forgotten my agreement was very confused when Jen said to me, “Looks like Prof’s balls aren’t getting chopped off!” Once I did remember I hurried to the movie and here is the real point of the story: I LOVED it!! Everyone must run to see this movie. It is so good. Not only are the kids adorable and the teachers who care so much heartbreaking and sweet, but it reminded me of what I love about New York City. And after this winter, I needed some remindin’. It reminded me how much I love the distinctly New York people and the mixture of cultures. They say the US is a melting pot, but I’ve never lived anywhere else where you really get to experience and see other cultures on a daily basis like you do here. This movie made me emotional, clearly. It even made me miss the cold which means I was temporarily insane for at least part of the movie but don’t let that sway you from seeing it. This isn’t so much a review as it is an endorsement.

My friend Jason is in town and we hung out last night. He carries his camera with him everywhere which makes me uncomfortable as he takes pictures constantly and insists on putting whoever he is with (in this case, me) in them. It’s not a touristy thing, he is an amazing photographer and takes pictures everywhere, but after working all day I really don’t need my own personal photo shoot. But the point of THIS story is that Jason oohs and ahs at all things Brooklyn (even though he’s from NY) which made me miss it even though I’m still here. He took like 30 pictures of our pizza place, was marveling at how great the grocery store was and then went into some beer store down the street that I’ve never been in and claimed it to be “the best store in the world.” I started to sentimentalize everything until I remembered that the grocery store is really dirty, some drunken guy is always in front of the pizza place and harasses me whenever I walk by and I hate beer. I do love my apartment though!

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June 20th, 2005

Irene alerted me to this.

You're welcome.
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June 20th, 2005

I started TiVoing Meet the Press so that I would have SOME idea of what was going on in the world. Usually I just watch the first two minutes where they tell who's going to be on the show, I feel I’ve learned enough, delete it and watch Dog the Bounty Hunter. But this week John McCain was on and I actually watched the whole thing!
This is my recap:

Tim Russert quotes something John McCain has said.

I think, “John McCain is so great! I wish he was our president!”

John McCain explains his quote.

I think, “He’s such a freaking politician. I hate all politicians. I can’t believe I was fooled again!”

Tim Russert quotes something John McCain has said.

I think, “John McCain is so great! I wish he was our president!”

John McCain explains his quote.

I think, “He’s such a freaking politician. I hate all politicians. I can’t believe I was fooled again!”

Tim Russert quotes something John McCain has said.

I think, “John McCain is so great! I’d consider voting for him. ”

John McCain explains his quote.

I think, “I’m never going to watch this again! I’m sick of believing only to have my dreams dashed! I’m done!” And then I turn on Dog the Bounty Hunter and all hope is restored.

I realized that this is shockingly similar to what happens when I watch Days of Our Lives. Here’s a recap:

Sami explains something she has done.

I think: "Sami’s just misunderstood, I don’t know why everyone hates her."

They show a flashback of what Sami has done.

I think, “Sami, why do you have to be so stupid! This is why no one likes you! I don’t even like you now!”

Sami explains something she has done.

I think, “Sami’s just misunderstood, I don’t know why everyone hates her.”

They show a flashback of what Sami has done.

I think, “Sami, why do you have to be so stupid! This is why no one likes you! I don’t even like you now!”

Sami explains something she has done.

I think: "Sami’s just misunderstood, I don’t know why everyone hates her.”

They show a flashback of what Sami has done.

I think, “Why is Lucas answering the door without his shirt on again? Oh right, it’s a flashback. Does he wax his entire chest? HEY BRETT! Look at Lucas! Does he wax his whole torso?! Why does he do that? It looks crazy!” And then John Black scowls as he manages to raise one eyebrow the entire time he is talking, Kate gets mad at someone and talks like she’s in a musical theatre production of anything and all hope is restored.

And that my friends, is why I continue to tune into Days of Our Lives and only briefly peruse Meet the Press.

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June 17th, 2005

Shouldn’t this be bigger news? Shouldn’t it be at least on the home page of CNN instead of buried in the Politics section? And by buried I mean in the Politics section at all instead of the homepage because really, like I’m going to go there. I mean they have evidence! A smoking gun!
I’m sorry, this is not why you come here.

So I was watching Talking Movies and they interviewed the director, Doug Liman, about Mr. & Mrs. Smith. He said that it was about these two characters who didn’t really “see” each other after 5 or 6 years of marriage. It was only until after they realized they were both hit people that they finally started to notice each other. Oh really, Doug Liman? Okay, I realize you need to find the deeper meaning, the spine, the heart of the story, but please save your lies for yourself. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, two of the most drop dead gorgeous people on the planet just didn’t “notice” each other anymore? I don’t care how boring your relationship is, when Angelina Jolie walks in the room maybe you’ll be annoyed with her, maybe you’ll wonder why she always looks like she has a secret she won't tell you, but you’re not going to not “see” her. I mean I’ve been in relationships where we don’t “see” each other anymore and even when that has happened, I just put on some eyeliner and a dress and the guy notices for a few seconds at least. Angelina is like permanently wearing eyeliner and a dress. And if you don’t like eyeliner, say you like the jeans and a tshirt girl, well then that’s what she’s wearing now. Listen Doug Liman, just tell us the truth. It’s a shoot ‘em up action picture with very pretty people in it and call it a night. Thank you!

I can't believe I wasted my time on the Downing Street Memos. I have a Days of Our Lives to watch!
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June 16th, 2005
Yes, we CAN all just get along

Everyone can breathe easy. I got my five dollar coupon from Duane Reed. In a few minutes I will go downstairs and splurge on Advil, cotton balls and Luna bars and then wrap my arms around the cashier who wouldn’t accept my receipt last time and give her a big long hug. You know you CAN'T always get what you want. But sometimes, you may just find, you get what you need!
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June 15th, 2005
Just don't expect an entry tomorrow, is all I\'m saying. And stuff like that.

Well I am not one to toot my own horn, but I was just informed that I have been invited to a gala! The movie I wrote for Oxygen won The Gracie Award for outstanding comedy from the American Women in Radio and Television. I’ve never heard of it either, but apparently it’s not nothin’! My $20.00 black dress from Delia’s will finally get some air time! I hope that counts as black tie. It's black and it's a dress, so as far as I’m concerned it passes. Also, if any tooting was going to happen it might as well happen here. Expect a recap next week! (It’s next Wednesday.)

The following was heard from “Tootsie” or so I call her, the woman next to me.

“I think I’ll stay here. And stuff like that.”
“She must have sweet blood! And stuff like that.”
“He’s never home. And stuff like that.”

Her need to add pointless words after finishing a complete sentence continues to drive me to unreasonable states of annoyance.

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June 15th, 2005

I have started to only write about entertainment gossip here, but what else can I do? I’m writing something new so I have to spend more time on the internets researching. What? Researching means avoiding something at all costs, right? It doesn’t? You should look it up, I think I’m right. Sorry, but I have to comment on this from Lindsay Lohan (sorry again!):

"I don't believe in weighing myself or checking my height because when people ask, I'd feel obligated to say."

Or checking her height? Is Lindsay under the impression that that’s still up in the air? I know she’s fragile these days but someone needs to tell her that if she hadn’t finished growing naturally by 18 all that “alleged” coke she snorted sealed that deal. Also, since when is admitting your height a bad thing? I didn’t realize that was something I should potentially be ashamed of. Other things Lindsay doesn’t want to check in case she’s asked: if she has fingers, if she has a mom, if she’s sane.

This heat is making me mean!
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June 14th, 2005
Road Rage

The lovely ladies (read: evil meanies straight from my 8th grade version of hell, which is a redundant phrase) from Road Rules came by E!’s Watch with Kristin to talk about the t-shirt line they started. I’m so glad they did, and I’m so glad my soul has rotted away enough that I took the time to read it! And by glad I mean deeply ashamed. That’s what glad means these days, right?

From Road Rules’ Rachel:

We wanted to start a line that gives women a voice. Shirts with sayings are usually built around men and are often degrading to women, so Veronica and I got together and came up with the sayings for the T-shirts. I came up with jokes like "Switch-Hitters" and "I Bat for Both Teams," and Veronica came up with "Future MILF" and stuff like that, and we really tapped into a market that's untouched. And the truth is, everyone needs a voice.

Take a moment to let that sink in.

Okay, I knew they were mean. I knew I was speeding up my death just a little bit by watching this show, what I didn’t know was that they were comic geniuses. I have to assume that when she was discussing the use of “Future MILF” on a t-shirt as being an example of something not degrading to women, when she’s saying that “I Bat for Both Teams” is an unheard voice calling out to be heard in the universe much like the victims from Amnesty International I HAVE to assume they are joking. Otherwise any moment I have spent watching that show has become even more detrimental to my emotional well being than I could have previously predicted.

I hate to advertise for them, but seeing as it’s only really hurting them if more than five people read it, I’ll go ahead. If you wanted to get one of their shirts where can you find it? Oh only on the words synonymous with “women with a voice”: Collegedropout.com. That’s right! Nothing says empowerment for women than girls bragging about their inability to stay in school! And to address another very important point that Rachel brought up, really what market has been less touched than that of hot girls in their early twenties advertising on their boobs their desire to have bisexual sex? Rachel and Veronica, I and feminists everywhere salute you!
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June 13th, 2005
2 in 1 lucky reader(s)

I just read this:
New Line Cinema is to bring a new version of the 1983 movie, MR MOM to the big screen, according to Variety. Adam Gibgot wrote the spec-script "Stay at Home Tom", based on "Mom", and Chris Bender and JC Spink will produce the movie.
The film concerns a father who has to learn to take care of his two young children when his wife goes back to work.

Why?! The only reason Mr. Mom is so great (yes it is!) is because of Michael Keaton. The incredibly wonderful comic actor Micheal “where have ye gone” Keaton. Now it’s just going to be standard Hollywood drivel! Also since when is remaking called writing something based on something? It’s the same plot minus the hilarity of Michael Keaton! Hello, you’re not basing anything on it, you’re making the same movie just 22 years later. (Was 1983 22 years ago? Shoot me.) Excuse me while I murder the person responsible and then burst into tears!*

*If anyone associated with this movie dies suspiciously please note the above was a joke. Except the part where I deem them idiots for "re-basing" Mr. Mom.

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June 13th, 2005

I wish I was pregnant. Not because I want a child, but because I would like to be able to explain my incredible mood swings on something physically going on with me. Friday I was at Duane Reed and when the lady wouldn’t accept my five dollar coupon I was filled with rage which quickly turned to wanting to burst into tears. I even knew logically that it was ridiculous and yet I still felt like murdering her and then evaporating into a pile of my own tears. I spent Friday night watching episodes of Huff I haven’t seen and feeling better that at least I wasn’t as bad as some of his patients. At least I’m not as bad as some of the fictional patients that are seeing Hank Azaria’s character on a Showtime series, was a thought that made me feel better.

In other news Six Feet Under is on again tonight! What a great show! Those people are definitely more bipolar than I am.

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June 10th, 2005

So, Russell Crowe went on Letterman and explained the utter pain and “dark” place he is in that led him to throw a telephone at a hotel clerk’s face. He explained what he was going through before the phone throwing:

"I'm trying to fill my basic obligations to my wife, who needs to know that I'm at home, I'm in bed, I haven't had too much to drink and that, primely important, I'm alone. These are questions that every wife has the right to have answered every night, and that's my duty.”

Uh, hello real issue! His wife needs to hear from him every night that he’s alone? She can’t just assume that? Like, say for instance he was in a hotel and say for instance that the phone for whatever reason isn’t working, and let’s just say the staff wasn’t very helpful in getting him in touch with her and he was going to have to wait a little bit to talk to her. He can’t just call her in the morning without her thinking he’s foolin’ around with some two bit Sally? Also, he’s Russell Crowe, he can’t afford to use his cell phone if the phone isn’t working?

Then he said: "I'm just getting used to being a husband and a father away from home, and that's a level of abject loneliness I'm not used to at all. I don't want to be away from my family like this." Translation: I’ve never been monogamous this long, do people actually live like this? I can’t be expected not to cheat! I’m Russell Crowe! I’ve never gone 24 hours without sex! Usually I have to pluck women off of my body as they fling themselves at me and I wind up with the last one clinging to my rock hard abs! This marriage stuff is soooo “lonely”.

Actually after writing this I think he is cheating on her! What fancy hotel has a broken phone? And when they discovered that Russell Crowe's phone was broken what hotel wouldn't gut themselves to get him a new one? He probably tried to last 24 hours without sex, made it to 23, broke down, and threw a phone at the first person he saw.

Wow. I can’t believe I just wrote a whole page on this. That’s as upsetting as abandoned and dying cats.
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June 9th, 2005
\

So last night Kevin and I were sitting in Union Square biding our time watching shirtless shoe Jackson play hacky sack (I made up that nickname thankyouverymuch) when a woman approached this lady sitting next to me and said, “Are you Naima?” She said yes and then the woman asked if she could take her picture with her. Naima said, “Will you take it of me and my friend?” The girl said yes sheepishly, took it and left. I said to Kevin, is that woman over there famous? He looked over and (I’m sorry Kevin but this is true) his eyes lit up and he said, “That’s America’s Next Top Model. Wait, I think. Did they call her Naima?” I said yes, and it was confirmed.

There are many things to cover here. First of all, how is it that I, the person who watches more TV than most people I know combined, manages to see a TV “celebrity” from a show I don’t watch? If it had even been America’s Next Top Model from season one I would have recognized her because I rotted my brain watching the Surreal Life with her in it. With my luck my next “celebrity” sighting will be of Sylvester Stallone of the Contender. (I’m just kidding because I love Rocky, so I would not only recognize him but be mesmerized by his lack of height.)

Second of all, why did Naima ask for her to take a picture of her and her friend? It’s not like Naima’s going to get a copy of it. Now this girl has to explain who this other girl in the picture with America’s Next Top Model is when she shows all her friends. Way to make the conversation that she has when she shows your picture, longer, Naima.

Thirdly, I’m surprised she’s america’s next top model. She looked more like america’s any other girl I see on the street in nyc. (Ha ha! I made that up too!) Nobody looked twice at her aside from the two people who recognized her.

Finally, that shirtless guy could really play hackysack! All those other guys were posers.

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June 7th, 2005
Two in one day! I\'m really procrastinating lucky readers!

I’m going to talk about some important things now. First of all, Diet Coke with Splenda is splenDID! That’s right! As I just told Hambone, it’s like I’m drinking regular Coke, only I’m NOT! Tony may disagree (anyone who doesn’t love the Butterfinger Crisp confuses me) but I love it.

Finally, I know it’s almost old hat at this point to make fun of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I can’t help it. I read this quote from her on imdb.com:

“I love him. We're happy, why not share it. I'm so happy. I'm so thrilled and I want to tell the whole world. He's amazing. I met Tom one special day in April and I'm so in love... I'm the happiest I've ever been.”

This is what I think happened. Tom lost his shit declaring his love all over the place and the best she could do was numbly mouth “I love you” at him during his attack on Oprah. She’s not an improviser, she’s an actress. She’s not as good at pretending to have lost her mind from love as he is. Tom realized this and sat her down. What follows is what I imagine their conversation to have been (yes, I am avoiding writing):

Tom
Listen, I can’t be the only one screaming about how in love we are! That’s why no one’s buying it!

Katie
Well what do you want me to do? I numbly mouthed I love you at you!

Tom
Yeah, you have to do more than that. Here, read this.

He hands her piece of paper.

Tom
(beat)
Out loud!

Katie
Sorry!
(reading)
He is so hot. And not at all gay. Just totally hot. And not gay. And we are really in love. He’s totally not gay or insane. We’re really in love.
(to him)
Are you gay?

Tom
Fine try this one:

He hands her another piece of paper.

Katie
I’m so happy. Happy happy happy happy me, happy. I’m happy! Wow. In love in love in love. Me! We are! Happppppy!

She puts down the paper.

Katie
Give it to Speilberg to tighten up and I’ll do it.

He goes to body slam/hug her.

Katie
DON’T touch me.

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June 7th, 2005

Well the cat saga is not over because SSD (second story Debi) didn’t want to release them in the rain. The panic continues.

But on the positive tip son, Six Feet Under started again last night. Boy do I love that show! 24 ends and Six Feet Under takes over its time slot and my heart. I have no excuse however for changing the channel and watching (in horror) The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. That show is like my junior high school nightmare. I hated jr. high and it’s a nightmare version of it. Those girls are so mean! And one of the guys acts like a dog. Seriously, like a wild dog who is living out in the woods somewhere. He actually bucked at one of the guys who was just talking to him. I can’t believe these people exist.

The bathroom situation in this place of work is out of control. Not only are people in there constantly brushing their teeth and holding meetings while other people are just trying to pee, but 3 out of the 5 toilets are broken. Ew!

I would say I should get a hobby, but I have many hobbies so that’s not the problem. Maybe better hobbies? I’ll consider it.
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June 6th, 2005
Kat Krazy

Let’s face it, I’ve had very little to say because I’m obsessed with cats. It’s terrible! I’ve been trying to help these cats in my friend’s backyard and it’s driving me insane. There are people who can handle this sort of grassroots helping feral cats thing and then there is me. One of the people who can handle it is Second Story Debbie. She has been nicknamed as such because she climbs on ledges to rescue cats. She breaks into people’s backyards where she has heard they have been abusing or neglecting their animals. She has done TNR (trap/neuter/release) on over 4,000 cats including 300 on Rikers Island (!) while maintaining a rescue shelter in her home. When I started this whole effort I asked for help from an organization called Neighborhood Cats and they gave me her. My heroine. She is amazing. She manages to have a big heart while remaining detached (read: not squealing when the cat gets trapped, obsessing over the ones missed, imagining how they must miss the cats taken away, wondering how the universe could leave all these cats in the street) and also staying sane! She looks at me like I am an adorably naïve kid from the country. She said, “After a week with me, you’ll be wearing a leather jacket with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth.” I have no idea what that means, but I love her. Tonight Second Story Debbie and I will release one cat and attempt to trap another. This means I will stand by and have a panic attack while Debbie does all the work. Let’s hope we get the one tonight! I can’t take much more of this!
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June 1st, 2005

I spent yesterday watching Sex and the City reruns. That’s right. I thought I would torture myself by seeing what it was all these people were looking for. Here’s the worst part: I liked it. Not the torture, the show. Okay, all the references to shoes and shopping were as annoying as ever but the rest of it was pretty funny. I think I realized though why I hated that show so much before. Sarah Jessica Parker. I’m sure she’s a nice person but she is really whiny and is under the impression that that is adorable. Why does she have to wink at everyone so much? I understand you think you’re cute! Stop smiling at everyone like that! I saw her on Oprah when SATC was ending and she was talking about it like it was the end of the world. Not just for her, for the WORLD. She really seemed to think that everyone in American society was as devastated as she was. I think because Oprah stacked the audience with people who were vicariously living through SATC she really believed that this show ending was going to create a vacuum in the universe and single women everywhere were going to get sucked up into it, curl in a ball and wait to die. Clearly she didn’t’ realize Oprah could assemble any kind of audience she wanted to. Oprah could get a bunch of women to say they were really excited about drowning babies in gasoline if they get to be on her show for an hour. She’s Oprah! But SJP just felt really bad for the audience, for herself for everyone except Kim Catrell probably, that this vital piece of Americana was coming to an end. I hope she feels better now that she sees we have all gone on to be okay despite the fact that there are no new episodes of Sex and the City being taped. And by okay I mean spending "their" time forcing "their" cat to sit next to "them" for the entire night while "they" watch reruns of it.
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