April 29th, 2008
Hello, you.

I guess I have the intellectual needs of a 21 month old, because I am totally satisfied by just hanging out with Harper these days. That is why I haven't posted as much. She has started saying two words together and since then I haven't really felt like doing much of anything but making her say things to me. It's like having a real human in the house! A real human you can dress up! I'll try to be more interesting, or rather interested, but yesterday she made up a song which only consisted of singing, "Daddy, daaaaad!" over and over again and I was fully entertained, so I'm not making any promises.
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April 19th, 2008
I can't believe I have such access to him!

I've just invited Barack Obama to play Scramble with me on Facebook. Brett says if he plays with me he won't vote for him. Guess Barack's gonna lose a vote!
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April 16th, 2008
After the past 8 years we deserve it.

If Obama doesn't win the nomination (and the presidency) I'm going to be more depressed than I was when the Format broke up. AND I WAS REALLY DEPRESSED WHEN THE FORMAT BROKE UP.

I guess I have it pretty good.

But come on people. He is so far and above anyone we've ever had before I can't believe he's real. Pinch him! Or me! Pinch someone and then make him President!
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April 8th, 2008

First: I will post a picture of Brett in that jumpsuit soon.

Second: As I was watching The Hills last night, and watch I did, I wondered if people who had real problems would murder the members of The Hills were they to come in contact with them. Like if it were possible for the people of Darfur to watch The Hills and somehow Spencer or Heidi or Spencer's sister wandered near them I imagine this might happen:

Spencer: You can't be friends with her because I don't like her and if I don't like her then you can't like her and if you can't like her then you CAN'T like her so stop liking her! Okay?

Spencer's sister: Omigod, like, you're totally making me like totally cry because like I wanna like her because it's like cooler if I like her and stop like totally ruining my life right now, like it's totally annoying!

Everyone in Darfur looks at each other and then back at Spencer and Spencer's sister.

SFX: Gun shot, gun shot, gun shot.

Everyone from The Hills is dead.

C'mon, if I really wanted that to happen I wouldn't watch and be able to be disgusted by them and then myself every week! I'm just saying that would like, totally happen if they wandered into Darfur.
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April 6th, 2008
Too many ridiculous things happened today.

First of all, as we were leaving Farmer's Market we ran into a friend who told us, "The TV show Passions is having a sale." Maybe the best sentence ever uttered to me. Apparently they were canceled and they were selling everything. And I do mean everything. It was amazing. Clothes, records, furniture, mirrors, anything a person would have in any location, they had it. And it was all very cheap and in great condition. But God help you if you tried to get in between the old ladies ransacking the costume jewelery. Or Brett and his jumpsuit.

Brett was willing to go, but not necessarily excited. Until we got there and he found the jumpsuits. Then all bets were off. The moment we got home he put on his jumpsuit. Since then I have been treated to the following:

Looking up and seeing him in his jumpsuit pointing off into the distance for no reason.

Asking me if he can help me with anything, just so I can look up and see him with his glasses off staring off pensively wearing the jumpsuit.

Announcing he needs to wear it without a shirt on underneath and needs buy a gold medallion to go with it.

Brett: The only debate is if I need to make these into shorts.

Me: Let me end that debate for you.

I look up two minutes later and they are folded into shorts and he is again looking off into the distance.

Brett: I'm going to need some tube socks and some hightops. And then we will be complete. If this thing softens up, I may sleep in it too.
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April 4th, 2008
My most riveting entry yet.

I have a very strange relationship with phone customer service. I don't have any trouble with customer service people in real life (even in NYC) but get them on the phone with me and everything goes haywire. Usually I piss them off for reasons that are beyond me, but then once every three years the exact opposite happens. This is what happened when I called my cell phone company three years ago:

Me: I want to get the plan for $60 for 1,000 minutes.

Customer Service Guy: I can't get you that.

Me: Oh. Okay. You're sure?

CSG: Yes. But let me see. I CAN get you $40 for 1,000 minutes.

Me: Um. Okay?

And then yesterday I called the cable company to ask if they had a deal where i could get Showtime.

CSG: We can only get you Cinemax and HBO for a special deal of $10 a month for 6 months.

Me: So no Showtime in that deal?

CSG: No. But let's see. I CAN get you Showtime free for a year.

Me: Um, Okay?

I chalk it up to all of them wanting to kill me the rest of the years.

See when I don't write here that often you get the bone chillingly fascinating details of my day to day life.
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