February 28th, 2005
The Corner of Crazitude and Vinsanity

That title is for a new reader to the journal perhaps!

Anyway I typed a whole entry about how Teri Hatcher's story isn't inspiring, but actually a testament to heartbreak and disappointment, but it got deleted. That was probably for the best!

For some reason I have been attracting the crazies lately. I don't know why, but they are everywhere all of a sudden! I had a borderline frightening cab ride that started with the guy glaring at me when I tried to cheer him up about the traffic and ended with him not unlocking the doors for a moment when I tried to get out. And then I was on the subway and I closed my eyes and said to myself that I need to consciously tell the crazies to stay away from me (which I realize sounds crazy itself) and when I opened my eyes a loony homeless guy walked from where he was on the train and chose to sit next to ME as opposed to everyone else. What's happened to me?! And I know certain people who hate NYC (Scott) will blame the town, but I think I would have found them wherever I was.

Thank God 24 is on tonight! Perhaps Jack Bauer can teach me a thing or two!
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February 25th, 2005
100% commitment to cuteness

Yesterday I was watching the Knicks play the Sixers on the television, and who was in the audience but Starks and Oakley! For those of you who don't know, (who are you?) my cats are named Starks and Oakley after those very same basketball players watching the game yesterday. I can't describe how adorable it was too see Starks and Oakley the humans sitting next to each other after all this time! They really are kind of friends! Or at least paid to sit there so the camera can pan to them and show them together! And the announcers were talking about them, "Starks and Oakley this" and "Starks and Oakley that". I miss those two. But I have the ones in my home which is even better.
Cats, sleep, 24 was amazing this week as usual(!), etc.
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February 24th, 2005
new thoughts: cats and sleep

When you walk around with a keyboard people look at you. They take notice! It makes me feel like an actual musician! Until I almost hit them with my tiny Casio as I have almost no coordination, and then I realize I am carrying a tiny Casio, and it all goes away in an instant.

Yesterday a guy at an office where I stopped by to fill out some paperwork forgot I was there in literally five seconds. He walked away while I filled out the two lines on one sheet of paper and just forgot to come back. Oh, maybe he was very busy, you say? He had a lot of work to do? The hubbub of the office kept him preoccupied? The place was empty. There was maybe 3 people total in the office and I could see his back from where I was and what he was doing. He just kept checking his IM to see if his friend had written him back. They hadn’t. Perhaps I should carry the Casio around everywhere! That would have left an impression!

Revolutionary thought of the day: Cats really do sleep all the time! What a life they have! Starks woke me up as usual at 5, then at 7 and has been sleeping since. Oakley’s just been sleeping all the time. No, I don’t know why you keep coming back here to read about this. But I appreciate it!

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February 18th, 2005

I started watching Days Of Our Lives recently because it is the funniest show on television. I STARTED watching for that reason. Who did I think I was? A woman impervious to television addiction? It's like I just met me!

I realized I was in trouble when lines like, "I have to go to the wedding. I'm half brother to both the bride and groom." served as edification (Oh, THAT'S who he is) instead of making me laugh. What's worse is when someone would utter a line like, "Oh Sylvia! You are the best fake psychic in the world!" it would actually slip by me unnoticed. Brett would start laughing (don't worry people concerned for Brett's well being. He doesn't really watch it. He just is subjected to it while working on the computer and I have the TV on)and then I would realize I should be laughing instead of being caught up in the show. But really, how could Lukas not believe Sammy! Neither she nor Brandon remember how they got into bed naked, OR how those empty champagne bottles got there, the night before she was supposed to marry Lukas! Wouldn't ONE of them remember?! Come on!

It's a slippery slope, people.
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February 15th, 2005
things!

Brett got me the cutest shoes in the Universe for Valentine's Day but they were too big. So of course I just stuffed the front of them with a crumpled up piece of paper so I could wear them immediately. I don't have the heart to send them back to God knows where! They just got to their new home I couldn't just abandon them like that.
We also watched 24 and once again Jack Bauer and the gang did not fail to delight!

You know folks, (Brett) (I'm pretty sure he's the only one who reads this at this point. Oh wait, no, Kevin commented the other day. Sorry, EVITE) when you have a blog any habitual thoughts become very clear. These are the things I apparently think about soley:

24
sleep
my cats
occasionally, Brett

So, lest I disappoint my avid readership who come here to read about 24, my sleep patterns, my cats and occasionally Brett: I did get an adquate amount of sleep but am still VERY tired. I've started giving Starks a Pepcid AC pill. I now know what it will be like if I have to take care of Brett when he is 80. Lots of pills and farting.
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February 14th, 2005
Well!

I didn't think it was possible to love 24 more than I already do, but then I saw Keifer Sutherland on Ellen DeGeneres. (the show) It was so fascinating to watch him look so unbeleagured without a care in the world! He wasn't trying to save the world (and succeeding), he was just being modest and sweet and coy! He seemed a little coy! Jack Bauer has NEVER seemed coy. I sure wish I would come up when people google "24 and love" instead of "sideways and hated it". Not because I don't love those Sideways hatas, just because I want to be a part of the love. I'm going to stop writing about this now.

I passed a place today called Tsunami Day Spa. Whoops!
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February 11th, 2005
evites

I've been getting a lot of evites lately, I guess I'm just extremely popular, but that's not my point. My point is there are some new features that I think are designed to destroy friendships. For instance, if you are E-vited somewhere you are allowed to just go ahead and add on your own guests to the list! Why is this my party all of a sudden? Why can I tell you who's coming? Doesn't that defy the purpose of evite if all of a sudden you're just allowed to say "Hey host, I know this is who YOU invited, and that's FINE. But here's what I'M gonna do." The other feature that seems ripe for arguments is the amount of power the host has over what your response is. Hosts can change whatever it is you say in your extremely witty (believe me in my case, it's off the charts) response. What, now I have an editor? Just because I'm giving you my Saturday night doesn't mean I'm giving you creative control! Evite must be very afraid that guests are going to say something mean or offensive. I think with friends like you have Evite, you don't need enemies. Just don't project it on the rest of us.

Believe it or not I had over 8 hours of sleep and yet this is still what you get when you come here.
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February 10th, 2005
speaking of violated

So I was waiting for the elevator minding my own business (which I guess means not provoking anyone) and this nice old lady looks at me, or more specifically my coat, and says, "So much cat hair!" Well she is right, my coat does have a lot of cat hair, so I just nod aggreeably because she hasn't lied, and then she comes over and starts picking it off my coat. "Look at theeece" she says (she's Russian) holding up some cat hair that she has removed by plucking at my coat. Yeah, it's cat hair, I understand. But, truthfully I didn't mind being manhandled by a women who unlike my grandmother, (or mother for that matter) seemed to not hate me. It's not bad having a warm maternal figure, I thought to myself, as she continually showed me the hair in her hands and compared it to snow. (they must have weird snow in Russia.) Only in New York would someone aggressively paw at you for your own good. This is nice!

And then just as quickly as it started, it turned. I was about to ask her what her holiday plans were for next year when I heard her spit into her hand and rub it along the neck area of my coat.

Ew!!!!!!!!

Why? Why did you have to do that! I don't know you! You can't just come up and spit on my coat!

I would much prefer being pressed up against in a subway than being spit on by an old lady. Would I? If I had to choose right now I'd say yes. I love you, New York!
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February 9th, 2005
Well

If I've ever been glad not to have a penis, today was the day. I was on the 4 train and the car was getting more and more packed (no pun intended. Would that be a pun? Possibly.) by the minute. I ended up getting pressed up against some guy so tightly it took us both a minute emotionally to part when the train cleared. But the point is, if I had had a penis, even if it was a very, very tiny penis, this guy would have felt violated.
I can only imagine what google searches will lead here now.
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February 3rd, 2005
Googling part II

Apparently the number one thing bringing visitors (viewers? fans? worshipers?)here this month are people googling different variations of hating the movie Sideways. When anyone googles anything related to hating Sideways it brings them here. Jeez, I didn't hate it that much! I was upset about it for like a day. But then I brushed myself off and moved on, just like Jesus might have if he had seen an overrated movie about two people who didn't seem to like each other even though they were supposed to be best friends. But hello Sideways haters! Welcome. You have found your home.
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February 2nd, 2005
Note to people with websites

Don't tell your "creative" "friends" that you can tell what google searches got people to your site unless you want to see some wacky searches in there! Here's what I learned from it:
I'm stalking Natasha Levinger does not lead you to this site, but Natasha Levinger eats cats does. Don't worry, I've already suggested that this person get a job. What? She's unemployed? Hey, leave her alone.
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