May 7th, 2007
An overly long entry about an actually minor incident.

Well, it took a year and 9 months. I finally got a speeding ticket. I was on my way back from an exceptionally cute time with Harper where we spent some time in a photo booth (she's like my own live doll!) when some guy decides to pull me over. How annoying! Why me? Just because I was speeding? Please. I am a very safe driver. I have no more vices! I even gave up sugar this month, go bother someone hopped up on Red Vines who may actually hurt someone!

Anyway, while I was waiting for the cop to come over to my car and praying for it to be a man so I could adorable my way out of the ticket, I forgot to pray for him to be a straight man. So annoying. He may as well have been a woman. He was so not interested in my story. I rolled down the window and said, "I'm sorry I have a crying bab--" He cut me off: "License and insurance. I pulled you over for speeding." He then quickly glanced back at Harper, and to his credit, didn't bring up the fact that she wasn't crying. Of course she wasn't crying, we just had a great time in a photo booth! She didn't know yet that he had pulled me over! Why was he trying to destroy my family?

I have got to tell you I have never seen a cop so disinterested in conversation of any kind. He didn't even want to flaunt his power over me. Usually that's when I can get my "in" by agreeing that they are right and all powerful, and I'm just a ridiculous civilian driver who needs a lot of correcting. This tactic makes them love me and lets me go with a warning. Not this guy. Literally all he said to me was, "License and insurance." and, "I put you down as going 75 so you can go to traffic school." He didn't even tell me what I actually going so he could hold it over me! Cops LOVE to tell you what you were actually going! Telling me what I was actually going is how I got out of four tickets in my past! (See: my "in") This guy just seemed hellbent on getting in and outta there. Okay, cop! Your loss! You missed out on a whole lotta adorable ass kissing!
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